The rain melange, still in the day, slides underfoot, and I recall your face and hair. And invisible honeysuckles bend over me, with a scent so calm.

I am split across the sewer trench. Ridged chest, tiny and firm in my hands-- I dangle you over the waste and we make a perfect triangle.

All the little ones, I can feel on my fingers, when you are a giggling rocket in my hands. Soft stomachs behind thin, muddy t-shirts.

Pushing the white van, pushing with my hands. Pushing with my weight, and yours also. Why can't it be like this, always? One in the same.

Cold amber and blue, plastic chair. Nodding to bed, nodding awake, I walk out to the sun and we start a new day.

But not a new way, I tell Mama "Bonjour" and slurp my creamed corn.

Now, kids' shadows converge and I feel them with scorn. An old "friend" is a nuisance, and young men are relentless. Tear the shirt from my back and birds come take my flesh. Bones in the sun, let them whisper away and fall down on anyone who ever asked.

"Yes!" you can take what you want. "Yes." as I am empty at last, and may now hold out my hand. Would you deny me my life? Cause me such strife, bewildered, deranged, verging insane with hunger in my eyes. And all would be right.

Do for the least. I will lessen myself, to cancel the burden and beg someone else.

But mud from a thousand rains is caked on my feet-- roads I never walked lay at my heels.